Back in the day, I used to think that confidence was about putting on a show for people or just thinking you’re better than other people. I kind of hated the idea of “confidence” because I though it was an act — fake and self-serving. In retrospect, I think I was confusing confidence with over-confidence or arrogance.

I finally understand now that true confidence (and leadership) is about being yourself, having a vision, and lifting other people up with you. I keep running into articles on this topic, and this is one of my favs.

👉 What I’ve Learned from Surrounding Myself with Confident People

I actually had trouble with this idea for a long time: being confident doesn’t make you an asshole. In fact, just the opposite is true. It makes the people around you feel valued and comfortable.

Highlights

Confident people are flexible and humble.

What separates the truly confident from the overconfident is their ability to seek out advice from people with varying points of view.

They are curious.

Confident people don’t need to control a conversation. They know their own agenda; they want to learn about yours.

They’re not in it for approval.

The truly confident, as Kareem Abdul Jabbar once put it, just want “to play the game well and go home.”

They are generous.

Confident people take real pleasure in seeing other people succeed and recognize the importance of supporting others.