boyhood – Mental Break Town

Here’s another quote from the movie Boyhood, this one from the dad played by Ethan Hawke. I always admired this character as a single dad who is supportive, engaged, and loving to his kids but also has his own thing going on.

The high-school-aged son is hurting because his girlfriend Sheena left him for a college lacrosse player. The son is feeling bad about himself.

The dad gives a great pep talk, reminding his son, “If you truly take care of you, you will be amazed at how much girls like Sheena start lining up at your front door” and then:

I guarantee you that every day of your life that you spend crying over some silly girl is a complete waste of time.

That’s easier said than done, but so true.

Sometimes a movie can have a real impact on your life.

One movie like that for me is Boyhood, which follows a boy growing up in Texas from ages six to eighteen and, famously, was shot with all the same actors over the course of 11 years as they actually aged. 🤯

Towards the end of the movie, the mom has a bit of a midlife freakout when her son is heading off to college. She frets that all the important milestones of her life are over – two marriages, two kids, building a career. She worries about her next milestone.

You know what’s next? It’s my fucking funeral!

It reminds me of the chorus to Nirvana’s All Apolgies: “Married, buried!”

Anyways, the son says, “Aren’t you jumping ahead by like 40 years or something?”, to which the mom replies, over her tears:

I just thought there would be more.

That line has really stuck with the last few years. It made me realize I needed to be aiming for something interesting of my own after the kids leave, beyond just my career.

That creeping thought – is this all there is? – has motivated me to work on other things in my life like friendships, writing, music, and hopefully a few more surprises down the pipe. 😉

Tag: boyhood

“Every day of your life that you spend crying over some silly girl is a complete waste of time.”

“I just thought there would be more.”