Tag: self-improvement

entertainment · Quotes

Fear and the 100-foot wave 🌊🏄🏻‍♂️

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Just like some movies are about lots of different things, the surfing documentary series 100 Foot Wave is also about lots of different things: surfing, yes, and stunning scenery around Nazare, Portugal. It’s also about family, friendship, aspirations, a community, sanity, the ocean, tragedy, triumph, and perhaps above all: fear.

These people are surfing the biggest waves they can find and risk their lives every time they go out on the waves. The fear is real: tragedy does sometimes strike.

The series starts off with an inspiring quote about fear and how facing it head-on can transform you.

The goal is to face fears, to go straight at the fear, to release it, to free it.

In doing this and facing this fear, I’m gonna discover a part of myself that I didn’t know was there.

Not everyone should jump on the next gigantic wave to change themselves, but everyone has a fear to face.

For me, it was living on my own and really being by myself for the fist time in my life around age 45. Now I’m pretty damn happy on my own. Or upgrading jobs when I had an easier option. Or even something small like sharing some ridiculous photos.

Yes, you do need fear, but don’t let it stop you from moving forward or let it become a mind-killer.

You

Super Summary: 10 ways to have a better conversation

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Would you give 11 minutes of your life to learn how to have consistently better conversations forever after?

If so, here is a really useful talk by Celeste Headlee on the subject.

Okay, if you only have one minute, than here is the super-summary breakdown of the talk.

  1. Be present – focus 100% on the conversation
  2. Don’t pontificate – set yourself aside in the conversation. (Write a blog if you want to pontificate. 😆)
  3. Use open-ended questions – let them pick their own words
  4. Go with the flow
  5. If you don’t know, so say
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs
  7. Don’t repeat yourself (don’t repeat yourself)
  8. Stay out of too many details and facts
  9. Listen to understand the other person
  10. Be brief but cover the subject – like a miniskirt

Yes, she says not to pontificate in a conversation – if you want to pontificate, then write a blog instead. So here I am. 🤷🏻‍♂️

You

Stay calm 🙏 and kick butt ⚔️

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Here are a few tips that helped me get through times when I felt lost or hopeless. This is my practical, step-by-step guide, hard-earned and tested in real life.

Setting goals

Decide what you want. Pick a small goal for now — anything useful. Take the pressure off. Just pick something to work on that you can do.

Think short-term and what’s in your control. What can do you today, tomorrow, this week, this month? You can act most effectively in this timeframe.

Narrow your focus: Do one (main) thing at a time. You can’t do everything all at once. Once you finish a major goal, you can move on to the next with even more focus, having the first thing done.

Working towards goals

👉 It takes practice.

Visualize the outcome you want. Close your eyes, breath, and picture in vivid detail what you want to happen. This may sound silly, but it can help motivate you and sharpen your focus.

Work towards the outcome you want in small steps every day. Keep your current daily goals modest; keeping a backlog of stuff to do later is helpful.

👉 Doing Great Things is Boring 🤷🏻‍♂️.

Place your happiness in the progress towards the results, not in the result itself. Steady work in itself will make you feel better.

👉 “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”

Yes, work towards an outcome, but don’t get attached to it; you can’t control everything. Focus on what you can do right now and take pride in your effort, however it may turn out.

Keep your ego in check. Do things because they go with your values and goals and not to look good or to avoid judgement.

Your happiness depends only on you, not on external people, places, or things.

👉 The Secrets to Happiness (Distilled)

Taking care of yourself

Enjoy nourishing foods any time you want: water, tea, bone broth, fruit, avocado, nuts, yogurt…

Try some calming sounds. Listen to some ambient music, nature sounds, movie soundtracks, whatever works. You can find these in your music app or even YouTube.

👉 The Best Music for Working

Freshen up your environment. Get outside for some sunlight and fresh air. Open a window. Light a scented candle or incense. Clean and tidy your home.

Move. Walk, stretch, exercise every day. Find an exercise (or two) that works for you. 🧘🏻

Taming your mind

It takes practice.☝️

👉 Super Summary: Think Like a Monk

Ask yourself – is this useful? If you find yourself having unhelpful, repetitive thoughts, then nip them in the bud. These are usually about a past or future that you can’t control and can’t solve by thinking.

Take a few deep breaths, then work on calming yourself.

Focus your mind on a game – Wordle, a crossword puzzle, or a chill app like isowords, Townscaper, paper.io, or MiniMetro.

Work through your thoughts and feelings with journaling. Don’t hold back. Get it all out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Or just write a haiku about your day to make it more fun. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Meditate: Clear and observe your mind non-judgmentally. Scan your body, focus on breathing, visualize success, give gratitude, find empathy for others.

Feed your heart, not your fears

Fear makes you do stupid things and must be conquered.

👉 “Fear is the mind-killer.”… “Move, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.”.

Above all, keep faith in yourself. ✌️

👉 “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”